This weekend…. I broke. I think I finally broke. My heart and my mind just could not comprehend what was happening, what doctors were saying, what could happen and what will most likely happen. And yesterday I received a phone call out of the blue from my kidney mama friend, Christina. And her first words were, IT WILL BE OKAY. And during dialysis yesterday… this is exactly what I needed to hear at the exact moment I needed to hear it. It was all going to be okay. And then she said to keep trusting in God and keep trusting in His Will. Because our boys are our Promise. And all we have to do is just keep going. Keep looking to Him. Keep hoping in Him. Keep my faith in Him. And know and believe that our boys will be alright. No matter what happens. No matter how scary it is. No matter what doctors are saying.. this is what has to happen for us to get to God’s Glory. We already have the victory. This is just the path we have to take.
My day started like this… praying (begging God) for Matthew’s catheter to work. Thankfully it did…for about an hour. Then somehow the pressure of his arterial line moved somehow and then I spent about 2 hours holding it steady and in his body. We were told once again that surgeons won’t operate until he is better. So please say a prayer that his catheter will work Friday. That his congestion disappears and his lungs stay strong.