Matthew is growing and getting big. He is getting better and better at everything. He is babbling more. He is communicating a lot better. His legs are strong and he is moving a lot faster. It is amazing to see how much he is progressing.
We have had some issues with his blood pressure lately. It has been riding very high. He is now on two different blood pressure medications. He has also had some issues with balance. He actually had a couple dizzy spells in the last two weeks. It was really weird to see. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell. Then he did the cute baby boy thing, he just shook it off and got back up and walked off. I mentioned this to the doctor, of course, and she believes that it has to do with his blood pressure.
We already know that his brain bleeds cause some brain damage. He has mild cerebral palsy because of it. Mild as in, he still has full control of his limbs (thank God) but he has a hard time with keeping his balance. He walks a little funny because he picks up his feet. It looks as though he can’t see the distance from his foot to the floor. Depth perception. So… he is so young we can’t tell if its his eyes, his brain or his blood pressure. lol. We literally just go along with our day, full of meds, therapy and vitals check.
Looking over everything that is going on lately, doctor said we should pray that he gets a transplant sooner rather than later.
That statement right there, ” let’s pray he gets a transplant sooner than later” …. 6 months ago that would have sent me off into a freak out frenzy. Over analyzing that statement would have made feel as though if he doesn’t get it eoon, bad things will happen. But… I have come to accept our circumstance. I have to come to accept that Matthew IS sick. But….God. Matthew is in HIS hands. Matthew’s entire life has been a miracle. Every breath, every trial, every step, every milestone Matthew has reached is because of God. They are all a miracle. None of it was ever supposed to happen. But here we are….
We are so close…
It’s going to happen. And it’s going to happen soon.
I am doing what I hope is what I need to do to prepare myself. I know that the first qeek after transplant is the most critical. I know it will be filled with so many thoughts, fears, worries and the horrible emotions.
This is the end…. we will have reached l the fiilnish line. I feel the heaviness in my heart and in my gut as I think about that finish line. Finally getting there….
We are so close…..