LIFE

My son needs a transplant to save his life. He was born with end stage renal disease and had less than 15% kidney function. Soon after he was born, his kidneys began to completely fail. At 15 days old he had his first surgery in which doctors placed a dialysis catheter into his abdomen and a g-tube. This surgery was the first of 11 surgeries he would have the first 14 months of life. He had already had two surgeries before he was even born.

 

The  moment my husband and I found out we were pregnant, we chose LIFE. We had made the decision to nurture, to care for, to give the greatest love to this little creature that was growing in my belly. And when we found out we were having twins, we were completely overwhelmed with so much. Overwhelmed with information, overwhelmed with the reality of having double the amount of children and overwhelmed with this incredible amount of love. A love that I didn’t know existed.

 

I didn’t know “twin love”. Twin love is different from any other love. It’s not better or worse… it’s just different. Like having love for a special needs child… it’s not better or worse, it’s just different. A beautiful different. And when we found out something was wrong with our pregnancy and our son was going to have a completely different life from his twin sister, my love for my twins was  thrown into a completely different level of love.

 

We chose LIFE.

 

We were given an “option” to terminate. But we chose LIFE. We were given a timeline of probable events and we chose LIFE. We were told to prepare for the worse and we chose LIFE. We were told that our son, if he were to survive, will need a kidney transplant in the first couple years of his life. And it was then that we were first faced with the possibility of ME giving him my own kidney.

Two years later, here we are. the decision is standing in front of us. As we continue to move forward we are walking towards the life changing and life altering experience of going through a transplant. The Gift of Life. And it is staring me in the face.

The word TRANSPLANT is burning in my brain. The meaning behind this simple word gives me such an array of feelings and emotions. It brings me joy in knowing it will give my son life. It brings me sadness of what my son has to go through. It brings me worry at a possible rejection. It brings me anxiety in knowing that, if I am the one to give him life, I won’t be there to care for him.

TRANSPLANT.

I will, God-willing, give my son this gift. A gift we chose to give before he was born. I am excited and anxious to be here today. Making the decision to once again give life.

I choose Life.

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