I Want to Do More

Written on  FEBRUARY 27, 2015

My son was diagnosed with end stage renal disease before he was born. And I knew that he and his twin were going to be staying in the NICU for months and months. So we were introduced to the Ronald McDonald House at Loma Linda. The house is right across the street from the Children’s Hospital. We pretty much had the mindset that the NICU and the Ronald McDonald house were going to soon be our new “Home away from home”.

I can honestly say, right now, our stay at the house was a huge blur. I remember sleeping in a huge comfortable bed… I remember the silence… and I remember being so happy there was coffee.

One night that sticks out of my mind was about a week after I had the twins…. I stayed in the hospital for 4 days post C-section. I went home for two days to get some rest. When I went back to the NICU…it was our first stay at The Ronald McDonald house. And I remember seeing this huge comfortable looking bed. And after about 16 hours of being in the NICU… 5 days after having emergency C-section… all I wanted to do was sleep. Buuuuuut unfortunately I am only 5ft tall… and the bed was hiiiigh above the ground. lol…

I remember after taking my very careful shower, after putting my pajamas on, I stood at the foot of the bed and stared at it for a good 10 minutes. My husband was looking at me funny… he didn’t know what to think. He thought I was still in shock or post-partum psychosis from everything that was going on. I remember he laughed uncontrollably when I told him what I was really thinking… how am I going to get on this bed???

After a while of laughing, I wanted to cry because I was so exhausted. We made up a game plan. We placed all of the fancy decorative pillows on the floor and stacked them up like a staircase. We added a folded floor bed under those and I was able to slowly maneuver my legs up, around and onto the bed. Success!

Being at the Ronald McDonald meant so much to us. It meant I could be close to both my babies when they were first born. It meant I didn’t have to go home without my newborns. It meant I could, without guilt, sleep and eat. It meant that I could take a break and breathe for a couple of hours.

I created a team for the Ronald McDonald House Walk For Kids. Our team is called, Matthew’s Miracles. And we will be at the even that is being held in Palm Desert, CA. We will be walking and raising money for the Loma Linda house that we stayed at. So far, we have a lot of people signed up to walk with us. And I am truly very excited!!

I have been offered so much help from people… help with this Walk…help with our twins.. our kids… our financial situation… and especially with fundraising for Matthew’s kidney transplant. All that is in my heart right now is I want to help others…. I wish I could I do more. I wish I could donate all the money and the clothes and the items the Loma Linda Ronald McDonald house needs. I wish I could help or encourage just one person… just one mother…

With the twins …with Matthew’s dialysis… with my other children … it is so hard to get out of the house. …..But that’s it….

I wish I could do more.

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